♥ dionne ; 사랑해요 !

22 September 2011 @ 12:10 pm

I don't think I've felt like...this before.
The feeling is like you're calling for help knowing you won't get any.
It's like instead of pulling you back, everyone's just watching you fall.

But just watch, I will survive.
I came to this world, alone.
I am certain I can handle leaving alone as well.
Watch.

I always keep people close to me in my prayers.
I also pray to have people I want to be close to me.
HA.HA.HA.HA.HA.
/hints

So sick at pretending.

"Never let anyone mean everything to you because once they're gone,
you'll be left with nothing."

21 September 2011 @ 11:04 am

we could've had it all

Story of my life.

4 weeks left till school reopening and it sucks. But yet I'm grateful. Timetable selection was yesterday, didn't get into the class of my choice and went to my second choice instead. LH got in the same class as me. But Rebecca initially didn't. Tried her luck again at night and yay she got into same class as us as well! So so so so glad! I don't exactly love my timetable but oh wells. End early on Fridays! TEE GEE EYE EFF!

I.....don't even want to talk about mooncake job. It was the worst this year, I mean I actually didn't enjoy working. At all. I told KY and R about it. It most likely wasn't because of the people, maybe because the increased responsibilities stressed and freaked me out a little too much? But I'm glad it's over. Probably the last year I'll do mooncake job actually. It ended off sad though, we didn't manage to hit our sales target. But seriously, I stopped bothering after 6pm that day. Hopefully they can give us our pay soon! I'm too broke to be doing anything!

Caught Smurfs and Glee in 3D the last week! I preferred Smurfs. I'm not exactly a Gleek lol. I watch Glee only for the songs part. The show itself....has no proper plot and I am no fan of plotless shows. Well, because my attention span is toooooooo short. But it was GOOD! Like well, I would go watch it again if I were given another chance. I actually teared during Smurfs lmao. But isn't it touching? When Papa Smurf actually asked his little ones to leave and never go back to save him :') I'm a sucker for anything family related I don't know why.

SWC came and ended in a swish. I actually have some photos, credits goes to Amber though. She nicely sent them to me. Hehe. AND OH OF COURSE I SPOTTED ONKEY MOMENTS. SO HAPPY I CAN ALMOST DIE.

#happykeysday on friday.
you'll always have a special spot in my heart.

Jinki ah...stop hating on your members lmao

Bought tickets to the F1 concert on Friday, can't wait to catch GTOP and Seungri....AGAIN! Hehehehe. I've recently been very interested in TOP...I don't know why. BUT HE IS SO GORGEOUS. LIKEWISE FOR GD. Maybe I've been watching too much Family Outing, Intimate Note and Big Bang TV. Hahahahahahahha. No life. But no money how to live out of my home.

Oh well. Getting out in a while to meet Cara and Cheryl! Gonna watch Crazy Stupid Love and Johnny English Reborn! Mini movie marathon teehee. I'm very much a movie person because that's when....everyone is silent. LOL. I'm a horrible person.

I look back at what I have tweeted/posted everytime. A reminder that things are always constantly changing and that at a point in my life I actually felt in a certain way. It's also sad to see that i'm living my life this way but not like I can give it a drastic change right now. Le sigh. This is one of my tweet this week and I am actually making sense LOL. True to a certain extent, no?

idk why but we're somewhat losing it. it's like we don't even want to

talk anymore because it'll only get worse. i give up. i'm a quitter.

and quitters NEVER win.

I shall stop this post right here and go continue watching my HK dramas :) Danke (thank you in German according to KY) for reading this! Sounds like what I'd write at the end of my fics. HAHA. Okay whatever bye.

13 August 2011 @ 11:33 am

they say that true love hurts...

It actually happened quite a lot of times. Ha.Ha.Ha.
Sad part: it's never going to happen again.

Internship has finally came to an end. It means it's the end of it all. No more stealing glances, no more random conversations, no more smiles and no more goodbyes. I'm glad though, he was there when I left. At least......he was there. But, I don't know, why did God place him in in my life and not give me anything after? Why did he just appear and that's all? If nothing can happen then I'd rather he didn't even appear. But meh, now that I know him, I woudn't want to no know him. Too precious. But I don't like how I appear as a joke to him. Why is he forever laughing AT me. I want him to be laughing WITH me. Ugh. and of course I don't like how he would talk to her about yet another her. Just ugh, don't like it.

Dear God, you placed him in my life on accident. Please write this story in such a way that he decides to stay on purpose. I don't want an end in this story. I've never asked for too much in life, I really never did. I always had to work really hard to get what I want when everyone has just has it all. Please dear God, help me this once.

Love, Me.

06 August 2011 @ 01:58 pm

O is for the Only one I see

just maybe.

Internship is about to end, it means the days of getting to see him will decrease along with it. Maybe not, I don't think he'll be in the office next week, which makes farewell a living hell. I don't want to end this, but it has to. But whatever, if it's meant to be, it'll eventually find its way. So, I shall just, I don't know, stay happy but never give up hoping. But you know, it kills me. It kills me when I'm trying so hard to ignore how nice a person he is. It kills me seeing him smile. It kills me seeing him happy because it makes things so much harder for me. I said to let go, to not think anymore and there he is, smiling and not forgetting that I exist. I mean, he's just really nice. Why didn't he just pretend and walk away, why didn't he? I want to die having to think of not having him because he's probably the one person I want so badly right now. As cliche as this may sound, but oh well. I just want to kill myself tyvm. But I like him, I really do :(

I did a lot these few week when I didn't come on livejournal. I met up with my favourite Eleanor <3 It's funny how after almost 3 years of not meeting up, we can still be so...comfortable. I mean, I feel so at ease when I met up with her because I can very easily be me. It doesn't always happen for friends who have not met up for years, right? We went to play frisbee (omg, wth. I know right). But it was fun hehe! Then met her again the other night after work and had dinner together <3 Must meet up more eh! I love how she's the same old Eleanor that I know :) and oh, you know how well we know each other after she went "SINCE WHEN DID YOU WEAR SPECS!" and me going "AND SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE BRACES!". It's just, I'm genuinely glad I have a friend like her <3

And FLEA. FLEA. FLEA. So tiring, I mean it was fun. But you see after major calculations we realized, no we didn't earn a lot. Though the money in our money box was pretty much, but still. Sucks to be me. But it was memorable. Special thanks to my sister :D Wouldn't have been do-able without her even though she's irritating the hell out of me right now ugh. Aunt Steph and B came down too, thank you! :)

Did I mention! Vania shifted office and she shifted over to Shaw Tower! YAY! Just opposite my office! So we meet up for lunch (almost) everyday and we met up with Kaishi on Thursday night for WARAKU! Favourite. The dinner was good, the company was great. Simply because you put girls together and a gossip session naturally starts.But we talked a lot about other stuff too. So yay :) Enjoyed the night!

I'm suppose to be rushing the report now but I'm too lazy. I only did three boxes out of the flowchart and am already bored. Ugh shall really start at 2.15pm! So time to go do other miscellaneous stuff before I delay some more! Plus, I'm going over to Sentosa later. HA.HA.HA. For I don't even know what but oh well. But they say Aunt Steph has a room over at RWS! So I shall bring my camera and snap snap snap some photos later :)

Au revoir ♥

12 July 2011 @ 09:07 pm

Thoughts

it takes a lot to realize;

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,

I'm actually not getting over it and it's killing me bit by bit knowing that all's coming to an end. This feeling is really....abysmal. So torturing I wish I could google how you feel so I know to let go or not. The instant you came back, my heart lightened. That smile, the same old smile, made my day so good. It's just..................REALLY SADDDDDD :( I never liked anyone this much. It's usually just 'oh good looking I like'. But this is not just that :( ugh.

Anyhow! Him aside. I went to watch Transformers twice!!! Hehehe! Totally hating on my sister cos her friend's mum treated her to Transformers at iMax! I WANT PLEASE :( Anyway for anyone who hasn't watch it, please don't be lame just go watch it. OPTIMUS PRIME'S SO WORTH THE MOOLAHS. Bee too okay! <3 I'm falling in love with robots lmao. My sad life.

A few weeks to the end of all these.
Are you ready?

I know I'm not.

Oh and thank you otp :)
for all reasons anyone and everyone can think of~

It appeared like it's okay, but it's not. Never expect too much, there's no one who can really live up to it. What hurt was instead of defending you went ahead and add more fuel to the fire. This is thy miserable life.

You know what, I am no longer the same person.
The brick walls I talked about, they just reached sky high.
I'm never letting anyone in ever, again.

And you know what killed me.
You.

Maybe it's not meant to last.